The Need to Pee in Westminster Abbey

I’ve been waiting my entire life to visit this majestic, gothic, stone beauty; Westminster Abbey. All the life and death that these walls have seen from the inside is unfathomable to my 18 year old being. I’m standing at the threshold with Jess. She shares the same excitement, but she has walked on top of those graves before with her family.

“This might be my favourite place in London, I can’t wait to see your reaction.” She is giddy at the thought of how giddy I will be, and I am already giddy. I’m so giddy I keep chugging my water, because heat and giddiness really parches me. 

“It’ll be 9 pounds for you and 18 for you.” The admissions lady says as she hands back our Canadian passports.

“Hold on, I’m a student just like her! I should be paying 9 pounds as well.” Jess never likes to be overpriced, a trait her and her mother share.

“You’re 19, only people 18 and under pay 9 pounds.” She spoke so elegantly with her English dialect, I could do nothing but smile. I was way too excited to be here.

“This is ridiculous! The world is against me!” Forking over her money. Jess leads our way into the Abbey, “I don’t know why you are smiling, I had to pay double the price.”

“Because to be 18 in London means you get to pay children’s admission for most things and are legal to drink, and not to mention I’m in the most beautiful place on earth!” I explained walking into the very cool, air conditioned Abbey. 

Jess got over paying double the admission, but she would never let down that that was a prime example of ageism. We began a tour throughout the Abbey with a very knowledgeable man, Hubert. He wore a robe that looked as if he belonged in the Supreme Court, all Hubert needed was the wig. 

We walk over Charles Darwin’s resting place, something I feel is very ironic. As we pass other dignitaries and famous people’s plots, all that water and my tiny bladder begin failing me. The cold isn’t helping and the dry air from the air conditioner just makes me more thirsty, though every time I raise my water bottle I panicked, debating whether I should interrupt our tour guide to ask where the bathroom would be in this historic building. I could hold my bladder until the tour was over... hopefully.

“How long does this tour usually last?” 

“Do not tell me you have to go to the bathroom again,” Jess looking at me with her annoyed Sarah Jessica Parker eyes, as if she were Carrie Bradshaw talking to Miranda.

“No.” Damn it! She knows me too well!

Hubert took us up the nave, past the quire, to the shire. This was where royalty was  buried! But who was here? Which of my favourite royal figures laid to rest here? I could feel my heart racing... and my bladder, needing desperately to be emptied. 

“Hubert, where are...?” 

No, Lisa, do not ask where the washrooms are in front of the dead royals. Oh! like it matters! But that voice was right, what if -

“Where are the queens buried?” Hubert read my mind... too bad he could sense my shifting legs as a sign that I need a washroom desperately. This is ridiculous, I am not in Kindergarden, I should be able to ask where the toilets were without shame and without-

“Queen Elizabeth is right in there.”

“Oh!” I silently whimper. Caught off guard by the news, I suddenly feel like an 80 year old woman who forgot to wear her diaper... nope it’s just a dribble, nothing to worry about. I take a deep breath and feel a wave of calmness wash over me. I don’t have to go anymore, maybe a little leak was all I needed to hold me off the toilets for a few more moments.

“The second? Since when did she die?!” Jess stormed into the little alcove of a room.

“Jess, this is Queen Elizabeth I.” I’m utterly amazed as I inch near the encasement.

“Oh, so like that chick you think you were in your past life.” Jess said as she rounded the room.

I could only have made up such a tale in my head of being Queen Elizabeth I in my past life, but hey! A girl can dream.

“What’s underneath the Queen?” I ask as I peered below.

“Mary I.” 

“Her sister?! The sister who wanted to kill Elizabeth?!” Slightly, I was proud for Lizzie, but felt slightly offended for Mary.

“Ha! I relate to Mary so much right now!” Jess exited the Chapel.

Even though I was the only one in the room now, my claustrophobia was creeping up on me. The thing with my fear for small spaces brings about a reaction that makes me want to go the washroom... so naturally my full bladder made itself present to me again.

Just ask Hubert now, you’ve already seen Queen Elizabeth I.

“My favourite place in the entire world, Poets’ Corner, all these writers and artist are buried there.” Jess saying as she leads me to the literal corner. 

“Jess... I really need to go...”

“Lisa! You can not interrupt this tour.”

“I can’t control my bladder!”

“Just do a quick round of the corner and then ask Hubert where you can deposit your waste.”

I take a shallow breath and began my brisk walk around Poets’ Corner, knowing full well that I will be needing to be making a proper round after my bladder became emptied.

I suddenly turn and Shakespeare’s head is two inches above mine.

“Whoa, hey there Billy.”

I step back a few feet and noticed the gaze of the Shakespeare head was staring at my feet. Uh, actually no, he’s gazing at Laurence Olivier!

“Whoa, Laurence!”

This was so cool, but I was basically dancing on Olivier grave, preventing myself from urinating on the great actors resting place.

Hubert was coming up to me, “Doesn’t this just tickle your fancy?”

“Definitely Hubert! But I really need to know where the washrooms are.”

“Washrooms? You must mean the toilets, they are around the corner.”

“Yes thank you!” I turn to hurry off, but stomped on Olivier’s grave and forcibly whispered to the ground “I will be right back to say a nice little non denominational prayer for you and Billy’s souls, I’ll just be right back, don’t go anywhere.”

And I run off to the nearest toilet as Jess shakes her head from Charles Dickens’ grave. 

My Challenge

The new year has begun!
I've started the first few weeks of 2015 questioning what it is I really want to do with my life. Because my inherit nature involves creation and story telling I've realized what I need to challenge myself and exercise and push myself.
This being my last year at Humber in the Theatre Performance Program, I feel myself as a performer has come a long way and I have a lot to offer and I will be continuing to learn and grow as a performer, even long after I graduate.
As a creator, I need to work and work tirelessly. I need the challenge to build myself into the story teller I want to be.

So my challenge will be to write 1000 words everyday. Essentially I want to be writing short stories, poems, plays for the next 1000 days. Many have done something similar and I've thought before "How absolutely fucking crazy that is", but as an artist and a writer I must do this for the health of my mind, body and spirit. It'll be good for my artist and person as well... at least I hope.

This will be difficult, but I am going to do it. So please follow along and I encourage any followers from my social media outlets to drop suggestions into what they want to see me write about (ie themes, story ideas, motifs, etc.)

WISH ME LUCK

Lisa Alves

NETFLIX = LIFE CONSUMING EVIL

So guys, I am so sorry that I already broke my promise about writing every Monday and Friday. But... you see... I was... Netflixing

I watched the entire series of How I Met Your Mother and I'm starting Breaking Bad and ... It's just all too much! I'm addicted. I'm so addicted that sometimes I dread making plans with loved ones because all I want to do is stay home in my PJs, make some nachos and watch an entire series or bing on movie marathons.

But is it a problem?

I truly don't think so.

Even though I Netflix a ton, I still have my jobs, I spend time with my friends and family, I get my creative work complete and I read novels. So looking at this I don't think I have a netflixing problem. 

I'm not going to make any promises for my posting schedules anymore... but expect one from me once a week at least... or not... we'll see how my netflixing goes.

With love,

Lisa Alves

PS Netflix is the best thing that anyone has ever invented. 

Sex vs. Making Love - The Battle of Hook Up Culture

So I saw this post on my tumblr:

“It’s simple to have sex. People do it regularly. In cars, in apartments, back alleys, drunk, sober, high, it’s easy to just take your clothes off and have sex with the person standing next to you. Making love however, is more than that. It’s opening yourself up to someone. It’s standing in front of them, as they peel away all your layers and you’re asking them if they’ll have you and keep you safe. Think of yourself as an envelope, you’re sealed most the time, so whose important enough to read the letter inside? Because that letter is full of your thoughts, fears and dreams. That’s what being naked really is. That’s what it feels like to be exposed. Don’t just give that away. Wait for the person whose going to read that letter, and never want to stop reading it.”

And I could not agree with this more than I do right at this moment.

Maybe it's because hookup culture disgusts me. 
Maybe it's not my thing.
Maybe it's because I'm a hopeless romantic.

Whatever the reason is to why I agree with this statement I found on the ever popular, Tumblr, it rings true for me and I'm finding it really hard for anyone to feel the same way about it. I see a lot of people my age hooking up and being fine that they will probably never speak to that person again for what ever reason they may have, but i just sit back and ask myself, 'how?'.

Just having sex with a stranger, or a person you met online puts anyone in a pretty vulnerable situation. The foundation of it is, you're naked in front of someone who doesn't know you and you don't know them. That's the area where I'm like... I kind of want to know who I'm taking my shirt off for. BUT I TOTALLY GET WHY PEOPLE DO IT. People have a rush sensation of sharing an intimate moment with a stranger. That's just not my cup of tea. 

Then there's the whole friends with benefits. I don't go kissing my my friends or frolic in their bedrooms naked with them, male or female, despite what people might think. YES, I understand that THIS situation calls for a person that you have come to know over time and care and respect on some level, but it's not love you're expressing when you're having sex with your friend, it's just satisfying a pleasure that all of us crave. BUT...

THIS IS WHERE MY PROBLEM WITH HOOKING UP COMES INTO PLAY. When you have sex with anyone, stranger, friend, significant other, chemicals are released in your brain to the body telling you that it feels good, and in reaction the new chemicals in your brain are released, feeling attachment and love towards the other person, because they are making you feel good. But when you can't call or see the person who made you feel good, because the societal rules of hooking up say you can't or you have to wait because you don't want to seem needy or clingy, you become sad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, and/or anxious.  

These chemicals that nobody has any control over travel through anyone who has sex. This is how feelings develop and how hearts get broken in hook up culture. In this culture, people can't communicate freely, the way they want. 

THIS IS WHY I AM SO FRUSTRATED. I like going with what I feel, I've learned that in theatre school; follow impulses, listen to my gut. So when someone I like is around or takes me on a date or maybe even kisses me, these chemicals start releasing their way throughout my system and I want to spend time with this person because they make me feel good. Then my emotions start kicking in and I want to communicate to them how much like them and I want to spend my time with them... BUT I CAN'T. 

Some people who hook up with others are use to satisfying their pleasurable cravings and then being let down, it's an easy roller coaster ride for them. Some are cool about it and don't care most of the time so it's just a walk through the park. But there are some people out there who don't see it as a walk through the park or even as a simple roller coaster, it's a terrifying plane ride where the pilot is no where on board the flight. 

Hook up culture has created a huge stigma towards sharing feelings with one another. It was already unnerving to let someone know that you liked them before sex was even part of the equation, because even if your are not having sex with the person you like, it is always part of the equation; it's expected, assumed, anticipated, wondered, etc. But because it is and people can be more physically intimate with one another during these modern days, more chemicals are running through everyone's body and everyone is getting annoyed, frustrated, sad, etc.

Now some people love this culture; great! keep doing what you're doing, but just be aware that what you're doing is causing people to become frustrated. I'm in no way trying to condemn the actions of people, I'm simply just stating what I get from this hook up culture.

But for people like me who are having these chemicals running rampant, they're affecting gut decisions and impulses. There is nothing more relieving than communicating feelings that have built up over time. It's relieving just communicating what each individual wants, and actually being honest about what it is each wants... because its a waste of time and doesn't serve a purpose if someone just says what they think the other person wants to hear, or worse, trying to convince oneself to do something they don't want. 

I think what modern technology has done to sex is wonderful. It's liberated women's sexuality and made sex safe for people around with world with contraceptives galore. But I'm not speaking on that.

Why I say 'HOLLA' to that comment I found on Tumblr is because sex at its base line is boring, its either just to procreate or to satisfy ones primal need to get off. But when you add the affected gut impulses and emotion to sex it becomes exciting and scary and wonderful. It's also not selfish anymore, its about the other person too. You can't just give your enveloped self for a stranger to open or a friend to peruse, it's just lame. 

I like letting my heart go and saying what I feel, even though half the time I am hesitant and scared about the outcome, I do it anyway. And even though I'll think about what I had just done months later, I don't regret what these chemicals in my body made me do. 

I don't like locking up feelings and what I have to say to please people or worrying that I'm letting an opportunity pass me by. I want someone that I admire, that I'm attracted to, to open my letter and in return open theirs.

Again, maybe it's because hookup culture disgusts me. 
Maybe it's not my thing.
Maybe it's because I'm a hopeless romantic.

But in my world, what I'm going to do is wait for the person who wants to read my letter and who never wants to stop reading it. And it's ok for other people who want that too. Hook up culture is definitely not for everyone. 

With (whole hearted, true emotion, not hiding it) love,

Lisa Alves

Check out my tumblr ---> http://laalvezz.tumblr.com/

Second Year of Theatre School

I haven't written in such a long time because... Theatre School.

Now my last post was last May which was about the time I finished up my first year of theatre school. My first year of training was coming to an end and I was feeling good about the work I had created with my ensemble, but it was summer!!!!

I saw so much theatre, I worked a ton of hours at silly part time jobs, and I went to London, England with my best friend Jessica Goddard. So Summer 2013 treated me very well.

By the Autumn I started my journey in the dark tunnel of second year at Humber College's Theatre Performance program. I wrote in my journals throughout the year how it was not a dark tunnel and how the faculty should stop referring to second year like that because it was such a negative image... BUT SECOND YEAR WAS A DARK TUNNEL.

It was so dark, sometimes I didn't think I even existed or would make it to the exit. We just did so much through the semester, I'm surprise nobody evaporated from exhaustion. We trained in the studio to find the play with our vocal technique and electrify our dynamic alignment, physically.

But besides the training we stared workshopping pieces. We worked with:
Nancy Palk on The Machinal
Kelly McEvenue on The Beaux Stratagem
Alex McLean and Marissa Zinni on Orestia
Kennedy C. MacKinnon and Thomas Hauff on Twelfth Night and A Comedie of Errors
Marie Beath Badian on The Fight.

So yeah... we were basically working on an entire season as if we were part of a professional theatre company. But this is why I love my training at Humber, its practical. Its so similar to what to expect in the real world, from rehearsing classic shows from Shakespeare or Contemporary Dramas or devising as a collect collaborative.

Now that its summer and a full year has cycled through I am so happy to be moving on into my Third Year at Humber. Next year will be stressful and informative and fun, but before September arrives theres a lot that needs to be worked on and I've never been as excited to read, research, train and observe as I am right now.

This summer is going to be different then last. For instance I said goodbye to Walmart last summer and now I'm currently a Barista at Starbucks. I am also continuing my teaching at StageCoach and will be playing Mary Poppins alongside my beautiful head teacher and my rugrats. And this year, I'm excited to be part of Theatre Relay's project.

Its a collective collaboration among 8 artists who have each created solo work to be performed by another artist in the company. I'll post more information about it later, but this work is something that excites me and I'm so stoked to be part of.

And although I am not going to London, England with Jessica, or anywhere exciting this summer, I'm still seeing theatre across southern Ontario; venturing to Shaw and Startford to see some great productions and I'll also be digging through Fringe, Summerworks and Luminato to see some new works.

So I'm back and I'll be writing every Monday and Friday on various topics including Theatre, Music, Movies, Travel, Community and anything any of my followers may want to read.

With love,

Lisa Alves

The Great Anticipation for Gatsby

I am so excited for the 2013 premier of Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Carey Mulligan and Tobey McGuire.

Here's the trailer - Gatsby Trailer

I love the book, even though I don't call myself a Gatsby Lover Fan Girl. I appreciate the heart wrenching story of Gatsby and Daisy. I am also enthralled by the lavish parties that are told in the story; they seem top notch classy!

I had a couple of concerns when I first heard that this film was in production. My number one worry was Baz Luhrmann himself... or more specifically his directing approach. Two years ago I really did not like his movies. Romeo and Juliette didn't make my heart weep, Moulin Rouge! made me roll my eyes, and I fell asleep through Australia. From those observations, I thought Baz Luhrmann was a cheap director (and I don't mean pinching pennies cheap). What I mean and what I thought was, he didn't understand the stories he was telling. I felt they were all over the place and out of touch with humanity. I mean in his past three prominent movies they all started farcical and ended the story in such a melodramatic way that it made my eyes roll. At the age of 15, I thought I knew how stories were to be told and I was certain that Baz Luhrmann had it all wrong.

UNTIL my very good friend Jessica Goddard went through her obsession with Ewan McGregor. She watched every movie of his and found all his sexy quilt pictures. When we discussed Moulin Rouge, being the open minded Libra that I am, I decided to give Moulin Rouge! one more shot. I kept in mind that Baz Luhrmann had a different approach, but I also followed the story, score and characters in detail.

After my viewing the film on my last attempt to understand where this director was coming from, I FINALLY GOT IT! Baz Luhrmann's films are not like Scorsese's, Spielberg's, Eastwood's, Lynch's, Polanski's (even though I know they are all very different, they are also all different from Luhrmann). Luhrmann isn't even on the AMC's top 50 directors list. But I feel he falls under all those classic film directors and directors that take the theatrics, music and details very seriously.

What I found after watching Moulin Rouge!, Luhrmann seems to be a director that hones in on the classic reason why film is made; to entertain. That's why music and theatre really hit it big at the turn of the century a hundred years back. People have always wanted to escape in the culture of the arts to be entertained, to realize something they might have or have not before, to revisit the times when they've smiled or cried, to follow a character's journey.

I've found a fond admiration towards Baz Luhrmann because he has brought a type of theatre to film. He has also has a keen ear for music and the story it can tell, by itself or woven within the movie. So I can definitely say I have found major respect to this director. My concern has flown out the window.

Check out this interview he had with Florence Welch in Interview - Baz and Florence

My one other concern was ... I hate to say it... Leonardo DiCaprio himself. Don't get me wrong, I've loved him in What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, The Basketball Diaries, Aviator and of course Titanic. But I find that in the majority of the roles he plays, it has always been Leonardo DiCaprio, not J. Edgar, not Frank Abagnale Jr., not Cobb. That's not to say he's a horrible actor, he is a very fine and crafted one. The thing is that he is recognizable, which is a good and bad thing. And when it comes to Gatsby, I'm nervous.

When I read The Great Gatsby I found myself forming a character that resembled Jude Law. Now give that a second if you know the story... now put Jude Law as Gatsby... It makes a lot of sense. SO MUCH.

BUT we have Leonardo DiCaprio as our Gatsby. I do like him and I hope he does a knock out job. I will keep an open mind when I watch the movie... I am just voicing my concern.

AND HEY! I changed my heart for Baz Luhrmann, it can happen again for Leo as Gatsby in my head.

What I am REALLY EXCITED about is Ms. Carey Mulligan as Daisy. To me, I think she's perfection and she is going to bring so much to the character of Daisy. When I ventured in the novel with my fellow peers, many people dislike Daisy and thought she was evil and vile and just a down right wrenched woman. But I found myself sympathizing for her and rooting for her because she's such a complexed character, just like Gatsby, and I think she's over looked. That being said, I hope and I do have a very good feeling that Carey Mulligan will bring a warmth and touch of humanity to the role of a not liked character.

I am also very excited to see what the rest of the cast has up their sleeves including Tobey Maguire, Joel Edgerton, and Isla Fisher. I feel like there is a great crew behind this production and its going to fly.

The last thing I want to mention is the soundtrack this movie has. Jay-Z, The XX, Gotye, Beyonce, Jack White, and Lana Del Ray have all collaborated with Luhrmann and Craig Armsrong to create a beautiful framework for the the story. AND DID I MENTION THAT FLORENCE WELSH ALSO WROTE A SONG THAT IS UNBELIEVABLY PERFECT FOR THE STORY? I think I'm more excited about Florence's Over the Love Song then the actual film... But you have to watch this to understand why - Great Music is Timeless

After a very long awaited premier, I shall be viewing this much anticipated film tomorrow with my friends as we sob and laugh and be the fan girls we tend to be. 

I'll post my thoughts of what I thought of the movie after in some form. 

I hope to hear from you what you think pre and post movie!

With love,

Lisa Alves

HUMBER COLLEGE PRESENTS * Shadow Play: The Peter Pan Variations *

The educational institution that I have been attending has been getting ready to graduate 12 so very talented actors. The Third Year Theatre Performance Program has definitely gone out with bang this year. Their final collective project is held at Back Space in the wonderful Theatre Passe Muraille. The Back Space Project allows the emerging artists to create a show based on a variety of literature and a final collaboration within the Theatre Performance and Theatre Production program. 

I had the pleasure of seeing my mentors put on a brilliant piece of theatre on for the supporting full house. The combination of song, movement, storytelling all came together in a beautiful story that intertwined the stories of Peter Pan and Lord of the Flies. They were graduating theatre school/college students that transformed into children on stage. 

The interesting thing that I observed was how much of the training, what I've experienced at Humber, I saw in my cohorts performing on that stage. I saw a load of Contact Improv technique, Physical Theatre, Vocal Training (Speech and Singing), etc. I was sort of looking out for the training, because I love seeing it applied to performance work, because that's what the training is suppose to help the artist to do. 

Overall it was the most attractive show I've seen to date and I urge people to try to get tickets if they can. There are two more performances left! Please support these artists and enjoy a spectacle of a show. You will want to fly out of your seat with them.

You can purchase your tickets by clicking this link! Arts Box Office

With love,

Lisa Alves